i've always kept it inside and never let it out. It was out of fear that I have decided to shut my mouth (truth be told reasons are just plain weird but it was something deep). And yes there were nights I would cry myself to sleep, sorting through the rubble of the i-don't-know-scenario (i will never disclose any information about it, let's just leave it at that) Though I still bring a big smile on my face and I'm trying to hide the sadness I feel inside. (nothing has changed).

If only "apathetic capsules"  are available at hand I'd buy more than 100 tablets. sigh...