Lately I have been feeling lethargic, listless, moody and apathetic. Not so funny tantrums and a handful of  complaints. (Now I feel awful about myself)  I know I shouldn't feel this way because "the-so-called blah" has opened up many doors for me and I should be incredibly thankful. (But hey I'm no superwoman)  Mentally, it has really taken a toll on me and I couldn't even think properly. And I know being grumpy just creates havoc on my body and even turn itself outward, at the expense of others (highly unlike me and I just hate myself for doing such things). I just feel  like everything is jumbled and weighty. Bottom line, all I need is inner peace and self-assurance; that "maybe, just maybe" would eventually make me feel better. Well it's timely that Holy week has arrived and I'm hoping to get this "inner peace/self-assurance thing" this week. 

I hope to see myself as a one-cow person as Bo Sanchez would put it. Not a one-worm person or a one-bacteria person. (ayokong maging germs)

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…  

(Romans 8:1)

I've always had a hard time trusting anyone and I guess I live by this notion "you can't trust anyone, only yourself." It's a way of protecting myself, from being hurt and avoid being taken advantage of. Much worse if a person has wronged me no matter how big or small his/her fault is, I'll never trust him/her again that's for sure. Oh brother! there's no point of redeeming himself/herself to me (kalimutan mong kilala kita :p). Since based on personal experiences, people that I trusted quickly turned out not to be trustworthy at all. (B**&9  S**6)They don't give you that kind of assurance that they can be trusted.

Maybe I'll never outgrow this kind of perception not unless I find someone worth TRUSTING. But I'm not closing my doors with the possibility of changing my ways and who knows I'll probably end up eating my words. (but that's a long way to go).

That's all for today..