This song has always touched the very core of my being. When things doesn't seem right and when things becomes a vicious cycle of poor choices I inflict upon myself. I simply recollect and listen to to it. My senses come to life again and brings me to the idea that no matter what I do, things will never be as simple as black and white situation. That there are almost always gray areas in my life that I should walk upon the earth alone. But I know the man above is walking me through my fears and will never leave me whatever the situation may be.

I long for the day

For pure hearts to rule the world

And sadness to cease

-P.Abraham-
2016

While soaking up the view from our office window, I silently watch people in their most unguarded moments. They welcome the bright sun in their own private balconies as they smoke their cigarettes and sip their coffee. Gradually stretching out their limbs until they can go no farther. Few mouths open large, wide enough to fit a fist. Some take pictures of themselves from all angles, a hundred times over until they get the perfect one. But I wonder, what's the first thing they think about when they wake up? Do they make an effort to think about deep thoughts? Review their dreams? Start the day with a prayer of gratitude? Do they think about what to do with their lives? Or do they simply defecate and contemplate what has been their impact to the world? But then maybe, each and everyone of them are thinking about endless possibilities that life may bring to them. Possibilities that will bring forth the hidden gems of reality; possibilities waiting to be released and channeled towards goodness. Possibilities that will eventually make them realize that life has its light and dark nature they need to go through.

That somewhere in our minuscule minds we find meaning and purpose in our lives despite the circumstances. Mostly, we are allowed to trip over our own mistakes until we learn how to get up on our own; without losing our minds. We will find the most simplest and creative ways on how to handle the misplayed notes of our lives. I know sometimes it may seem these mistakes becomes repetitive but I think its universe's way of telling us that we do some pruning or polishing in our ways. Somehow letting ourselves feel the edges and contours of our mistakes and then we let go of these discomforts. It doesn't mean when shit happens we just resort to giving up; that's not how life goes. I think it's best that we maintain our composure and be mentally strong in every situation. Have courage to take an unconventional leap of faith. It may not be comfortable at first but it would be incredibly liberating. 

Almost half the year is gone and how did my life progressed? I wouldn't say I'm 100% okay but I never felt better in my life the past few months. Little did I know that an unexpected turn of events I never expected to happen will leave me smiling...again. However, there are times I still find myself crying multiple times a day but then I know losing a loved one is a basic part of our life cycle. Well, it takes a little bit of effort of getting used to the idea that they're no longer physically here on earth. But what I'm really focusing on right now is how to continue to be optimistic in everything I do. Of course, there would be challenges along the way and there would be people who will try to ruin my inner peace. But there's no way I will allow these things get the best of me. More importantly, I will try to learn to look beyond the obvious and see the bigger picture rather than be consumed with emotions and feel overwhelmed. Hoping that I will be more forgiving and trusting after all that I've been through. I pray that I will always have eyes that see the best in people and a mind that forgets the bad. Become less attached to the idea that things should always go my way. And lastly, I'm hoping that these words will get stuck in my head for as long as I live: