A few weeks back I had the most emotionally exhausting experience and I could hardly explain what the exact feeling I felt back then. It was a complete nightmare you couldn't stop thinking about and even found myself completely drained of energy. I thought no hope was left in sight that my only option was to succumb to morbid thoughts and turn away from the raptures and high elevations that life can offer. Much like everyone, (well maybe) I've always had internal conflicts with myself, I have my own fair share of insecurities, self-doubt, and a growing sense that there was something terribly wrong with me. In an attempt to cope, my stubborn mind subconsciously came up with the idea that I had to put the burden to others so as to make things better and easier for me. My mind had unquestioningly concluded that this was the only way to get through with it. Not knowing I was already creating a perfect recipe for a life of unvarying failure and inexorable guilt. Unfortunately, in one sweep of a hand it slowly led me to a hopeless path of self-destruction, blurred with my own preconceived notions that are far from being socially acceptable. And I almost lost an important companion while I was dealing with my stubborn behavior. I definitely hit absolute rock bottom when I thought everything will be put to waste. I was a total mess and my will was broken. Yes I was hurt but it was kind of a good hurt because it was a wake up call on my end. (I deserved every beating I got and it was a real cut-throat) With surprising ease, I realized I had to change my views and take a 180-degree turn at once. I had to form a new empowering habits and make conscious decisions at the same time. I kept on analyzing myself and continued to untangle the spaghetti code in my mind with the intention of improving myself. It was not an easy task at all and I'm still a work in progress, and the whole "acknowledging and expressing my feelings in a positive aspect" thing is still a new hat I'm learning to wear. I presume as I navigate through life I will be able to know myself at the deepest level and will allow me to see others through the eyes of non-judgment and empathy.