Certainly, baby boys and girls start out as charming, sweet and incredibly affectionate. But, as time turned into a decade they suddenly become a bullheaded human beings, myself included.
In my entire life, I never claimed to be a good nor a perfect daughter a parent could have hoped for. I can be excessively sweet and thoughtful at times. But with a flip of a coin, oftentimes when things don't go my way and when our opinions clash, I suddenly hate them. I even wished I have different parents, parents who would really understand me. Thinking they don't value my opinion and if only they would let me do my own thing, then things will be fine. There were tons of arguments, ongoing battles, yelling, power struggles and whatnot. Each of which I tried to contain myself and kept on psyching myself up, not to engage in any of these negative things. However, I'm having a hard time to connect with them emotionally especially to the mother queen. Yes, I became distant for I don't know how long, but I had my own reasons which I cannot divulge. (Actually, this post is actually meant for the mother queen.) Both of us have been struggling to pull ourselves up from the quagmire of weightless bickering. We couldn't even stand each other for an hour (pwede na kami magliyab pareho) and we were always caught up in who's right and who's wrong battle.
But here comes the power of foresight, that deep within me I know that this too shall pass eventually. That said, an unexpected turn of events happened that led me to take things slowly in order to rekindle the relationship I had with the mother queen. It was very clear that it's God's way of nudging me to walk into His ways, that the nudge was so clear-cut otherwise known as impasse, to bring me back to submission. It's as though He was telling me outright, "change your ways and you will find the true direction."
Truthfully, I've spent a long time harboring resentment at the mother queen for the things I thought she failed at and overlooking at my own faults. I know for a fact that no matter what, even if her combative ways puts me into a whirlwind of negative emotions, she's still my mother (we will always remain as family). That in spite of the friction between us, hardships, and trials, I'm pretty sure we will find ways to move forward in life. It is an unceasing dance between me and the mother queen, as we try to fine-tune our relationship. And with God's wise guidance, I perceive things will eventually unfold to greater things between us.
